she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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