My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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