I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
