when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
