As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
whose parrot is this?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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