you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
