Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
