I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I want to be your penis for a week.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
