This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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