Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize