he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
handjob tips. give me some.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
