Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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