So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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