8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Never underestimate the power of titties
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
