We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Randomize
