there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I have post one night stand depression
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