the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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