yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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