he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
