If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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