my vag is so smooth its legendary
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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