Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
