New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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