Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
