One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize