Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
