when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
