I'm gonna have a badass scar
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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