Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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