In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
