dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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