when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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