i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
