chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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