In the future we'll all be gay
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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