D3 body, D1 cock
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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