This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
