Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
