somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize