i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
His nipple licking is glorious
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