Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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