I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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