i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
