did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
he had hair everywhere except his balls
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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