$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
