WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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