they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
