I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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