...so i touched it.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize