Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
