Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.

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(210): View more from Texas

she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?

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(713): View more from Texas

You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?

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(330): View more from Ohio

Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?

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(540): View more from Virginia

You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.

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(319): View more from Iowa

we live vicariously through your huge boobs

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