her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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