I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
