She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
sex in a hospital.. check
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
