i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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