I'm lost and stupid without you.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
