I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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